OP/ED: Public meeting on LG/sex manual issue critical for Castlegar parents
By Kyra Hoggan
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND DISCUSSES MATURE SUBJECT MATERIAL. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Obviously, our coverage of this whole ‘Deflowered in Seconds’/Facebook/LG thing has struck a nerve in this community. I haven’t fielded so much hate mail, through The Source, via email and on Facebook, since I was dumb enough to publicly (and in the West Kootenay) oppose the legalization of marijuana. To me, the how-to manual and the LG culture are separate issues – the first revolving around the authors of the manual, while the second was here before them and will likely be here long after they’re gone. So let’s start with the first issue: the men who penned ‘Deflowered in Seconds’ (and yes, at 21 years old, they are men, by any legal standard). They still have not publicly apologized, nor publicly admitted to any wrong doing whatsoever. I gave them the opportunity to do so, or even just to share their side of the story. Neither one bothered. The manual remains on the Internet for all the planet to read (http://www.scribd.com/doc/57335785/pedo). Read at your own risk … it’s horrific. One of the most upsetting elements of this, for me, is that the majority of people sending me hate mail are young women. I find it so disturbing that, rather than expect these men to take even the tiniest responsibility for what they did, these women (and young girls) are frantically, viciously blaming OTHER women … either myself or the little girls to which the manual refers. I find that both terrifying and illuminating – it certainly explains many of the societal problems we’re coping with today. Let’s be clear: if people end up hating these young men, it won’t be because of what I wrote and published on the web …it will be because of what THEY wrote and published on the web. I didn’t hold a gun to their heads and make them write a 13-chapter book calling “little girls” (their words, not mine) “prey” and “the specimen”. Chapter One is even entitled, “Spotting your prey” , and categorizes little girls as one of the following: “sluts, cunts and cling-ons”. And that’s just within the second paragraph … far worse is said as you read on. I think a simple, heartfelt public apology would have been all it would have taken to end the issue for the authors of this abomination. Their refusal to offer same is likely not earning them many points within the community, any more than their so-called “joke” did. But many, many girls and women are blaming me, instead – or, worse yet, blaming local little girls for “provoking” young boys and men. Which brings me to the LG party issue. I think Castlegar is a wonderful town, filled with wonderful people and terrific kids. That’s in no way negated by the fact that I also believe there’s a very sick, very dangerous sub-culture at work here, infecting the most vulnerable of our young people, and I think remaining silent would border on criminally irresponsible. And not just in light of the girls who might be hurt by this – young boys are very much at risk here, too. In fact, I see the authors of ‘Deflowered in Seconds’ as casualties of this sub-culture … infected with a very insidious sickness. I’ve never met them, so maybe I’m wrong, but that’s my current read on what could have motived two very bright, socially-able men to do such a thing. Yes, it’s true that the ‘LG’ culture is not isolated to Castlegar (in fact it is, at the very least, province-wide), and has been going on for a very long time. That doesn’t mean we should ignore it. Since moving here, I’ve noticed a grossly disproportionate number of criminal cases involving young people and sexual deviance – the 17-year-old in Trail who raped a woman in her 70s, the Castlegar teen who was arrested for possession of thousands of items of child pornography – twice –, and the teenager charged with attempting to rape a woman at the Complex, to name just a few. I don’t believe any thinking adult could argue that the two (LG culture and criminal cases) are in no way related. So what do we do about it? Well, I think we start with talking about it. This kind of sickness thrives only in darkness and secrecy. It withers and dies in the spotlight … so talk to your kids, your friends, your coworkers, your teachers. Don’t let it be a deep, dark secret anymore. Local social worker James McFaddin, from Castlegar and District Community Services Society, is arranging a town hall meeting, and I urge everyone to attend (the date has not yet been announced, but the second it’s firmed up, we’ll post it). The meeting is not intended to be a witch-hunt, either, so if you’re looking to heap abuse on the authors of ‘Deflowered in Seconds’, please reconsider. Demonizing anyone, blaming anyone, be it me, the police, the ‘authors’ … that may feel good and provide an outlet for our collective upset. But it won’t solve anything. This meeting should be about sharing information and problem solving, and making sure no parent is unaware of the threats and temptations with which their children may have to cope. Learning about all this so we can prepare our kids as they enter high school is, to my mind, absolutely critical. Talking openly to our kids about this, and about the moral, legal and health issues it creates, is our responsibility. Knowledge is power, and we need to empower Castlegar kids to respect themselves and each other … and to champion, rather than denigrate, same.
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