Youth worker says Facebook abuse manual just tip of terrifying Castlegar iceberg

by Kyra Hoggan on 26 May 2011
in
Youth worker says Facebook abuse manual just tip of terrifying Castlegar iceberg

A how-to manual detailing how to abuse young girls that was posted on Facebook by two Castlegar men is but the tip of a terrifying iceberg, according to local youth worker James McFaddin.

McFaddin, youth worker and men’s outreach coordinator for Castlegar & District Community Services Society, said the document ‘Deflowered in Seconds’ is the least of a sub-culture that should scare local parents half to death.
 
“Men are holding what’s called ‘LG parties' (‘LG’ standing for ‘little girl’), in which the entire goal is to have the most degrading sex possible with as many girls as possible,” he said, adding men as young as 16 and as old as 35 have been known attend the parties. “If you read that manual, you’ll see that the goal is to commit the worst acts possible to these girls so that it’s too embarrassing and humiliating for them to tell anyone.”
 
He said that, while the authors of the Facebook manual unabashedly describe how to ply underage girls with alcohol, he’s also spoken to many, many young men who have told him date-rape drugs like Ketamine and GHB are readily available to them in Castlegar … and they are absolutely in use at these parties.
 
“I’ve spoken to so many local young girls who have been abused, but they’ll only hint or imply that they have,” he said. “They’re too ashamed and afraid to tell anyone what has happened to them.”
 
He said the manual, which repeatedly refers to the targeted little girls as ‘prey’ or ‘the specimen’, flat-out says, “This stops the porn use and begins the specimen abuse”. There’s no ambiguity, he adds, except what he perceives to be an utterly disingenuous disclaimer at the beginning, indicating the multi-page document is “only a joke”.
 
“These parties, and the values these young men are promoting, are no joke.”
 
And he said parents who think they’re safe because their kids are affluent and from two-parent families had better think again.
 
“It’s across the board, across all aspects of Castlegar society, all socio-economic groups,” he said. “These are kids who attend church and are members of youth groups, boy scouts, cadets.
 
“It’s not just the kids you’d expect.”
 
And he says the parties aren’t even the most sinister part – there’s an undercurrent of sexual deviance infecting young people in the Castlegar/Trail area beyond anything he’s ever seen.
 
“I come from Winnipeg, the murder capital of Canada, and I’m far more sickened by what I’m seeing here.”
 
He says girls as young as 14 and 15 are hitchhiking between Trail and Castlegar, giving grown men blow jobs in exchange for Happy Meals – and he’s actually heard men casually refer to this as “getting road head”.
 
This, on top of several highly-publicized situations in which young men have been charged with everything from sexual assault to possession of child porn should, he thinks, serve as a massive wake-up call for local parents.
 
“I’m sick and tired of people sitting with their ears covered and their eyes closed,” he said. “We need to talk about this – we need to blow the doors right off this, and start teaching our young people how wrong this is. We need to help our young men realize they don’t want this for their future wives, sisters, daughters.
 
“Yeah, I’m furious. I’ve known about this for more than a year, and so have many others. Why is everyone remaining silent?”
 
“Local men need to make a change by standing up to, and with, each other …not just refusing to participate, but actually opposing this and championing our women.”

Comments

Wake Up!!

by Lighten Up on 29 May 2011 at about 00:15.
This is typical hysteria!! I grew up here in the '70s and '80s and guess what...many of us "young girls" (grade 8 or 9 +) were really into having sex with older guys. Saying this now seems really bizarre, but at the time, we thought we were pretty old. It had nothing to do with "abuse" or "being taken advantage of"...it was just something fun to do. As for the LG Parties...this is nothing new. There was quite a high profie case in the Lower Mainland (Chilliwack perhaps??) a few years back. Unfortunately, for most adults under 50 that I have met in Castlegar, being informed means knowing who was kicked off Survivor or American Idol last week. Watch or listen to the real news once in a while...Dateline and Oprah don't count!! And MOST ironic...the same people that are appauled by this behaviour/news are the same that support a "sport" that is no more than scantilly clad girls engaged in a cat fight on wheels... You reap what you sow....

From the editor: talk about missing the point

by Kyra Hoggan on 29 May 2011 at about 12:50.

I can't speak to your childhood, beyond saying that I think it's sad you and your friends were in a culture that would find what you've just described acceptable.

But that's not the point, this is: how does your willingness to sleep around as a kid give you the right to assume everyone else is willing, too?

Could men readily access Ketamine and GHB in your day?

Really, how dare you belittle or diminsh the experience of victims just because you don't happen to be one of them?

By your logic, if your parents didn't abuse you as a child, then no child has ever been abused.

What utter nonsense.

People like you are almost the biggest part of the problem, second only to the vile men engaging in this.

Kyra Hoggan

Editor

From the editor: afterthought

by Kyra Hoggan on 29 May 2011 at about 12:59.

And by the way, while you pretend to be blase and unashamed of your "normal:" behaviour as a young woman, I can't help but notice you've refrained from using your real name.

Food for thought.

Kyra Hoggan

Editor

There is alot of Wisdom in

by Carol on 29 May 2011 at about 07:46.
There is alot of Wisdom in this comment. I find this very interesting. It has been something I have wanted to say but had reservations about. We as a society should not be suprized and to tell you the trueth I am not. What I am is saddened. However I also have hope that maybe now people will wake up. and as for young people having sex and wanting too. You have to wonder are they really ready for it and should we be encouraging it by saying they are going to do it anyway so lets make it safe. Or should we be telling them that sex is more then just the physical pleasure but also can spiritualy and emotionally effect you. I was blessed to have both a family and partner that stuck by me during my unwed pregnancy and it has turned out to be a beautiful thing. It has created 2 awesomes sons partners that are special to them and 2 grandchildren one girl and one boy and 30yrs of marriage. Unfortunatly though alot of these situations can turn into tragedies that can effect a person for a life time and those generations to come. But we all have hope and can heal. With prayer and love and concern for one anouther instead of our own selfish wants. I remembe a couple of years back when I complained to the police because both they and the majority of city council were giving their consent to the liquor board for an extention of hours to hold an event called a foam party that advertised to bring your hot bodies and anything goes. I did manage to talk to the owner and he did take down the advertisement I thought that was very thoughtful. Then unfortunatly I looked again latter and there it was. Same place a teen dance was being held. I too grew up in the 70's and 80's. I wonder now though what is actually taught in sex ed classes. From some of the emails I have got it is not very good.

Well said

by medic_487 on 29 May 2011 at about 12:04.
I can honestly say I wish more Castlegar residends shared your constructive perception of events. This is the kind of attitude that gets things done. And you're absolutely right. Underage sex is not something we haven't seen before. What we're dealing with is more like "deflowered in generations". Wether the situation is improving or not is difficult to accurately determine. However, one thing is certain: this may be our only chance to bring the community together and form a plan to prevent recerrence. We need to be properly educating these young adults about what this kind of behavior does to their self-esteem and how it may affect them later in their lives. After that, the decision is up to them and parents, teachers, and residents alike can take pride in knowing we gave these kids the best possible tool to make the choice. Knowledge.

There is alot of Wisdom in

by Carol on 29 May 2011 at about 07:46.
There is alot of Wisdom in this comment. I find this very interesting. It has been something I have wanted to say but had reservations about. We as a society should not be suprized and to tell you the trueth I am not. What I am is saddened. However I also have hope that maybe now people will wake up. and as for young people having sex and wanting too. You have to wonder are they really ready for it and should we be encouraging it by saying they are going to do it anyway so lets make it safe. Or should we be telling them that sex is more then just the physical pleasure but also can spiritualy and emotionally effect you. I was blessed to have both a family and partner that stuck by me during my unwed pregnancy and it has turned out to be a beautiful thing. It has created 2 awesomes sons partners that are special to them and 2 grandchildren one girl and one boy and 30yrs of marriage. Unfortunatly though alot of these situations can turn into tragedies that can effect a person for a life time and those generations to come. But we all have hope and can heal. With prayer and love and concern for one anouther instead of our own selfish wants. I remembe a couple of years back when I complained to the police because both they and the majority of city council were giving their consent to the liquor board for an extention of hours to hold an event called a foam party that advertised to bring your hot bodies and anything goes. I did manage to talk to the owner and he did take down the advertisement I thought that was very thoughtful. Then unfortunatly I looked again latter and there it was. Same place a teen dance was being held. I too grew up in the 70's and 80's. I wonder now though what is actually taught in sex ed classes. From some of the emails I have got it is not very good.

The blame finger.

by medic_487 on 26 May 2011 at about 23:24.
Firstly, I would like to take a moment to welcome everyone to the 21st century. Wether you knew it or not, the internet has been playing host to many articles of drug manufacturing, bomb making, and even murder planning for a number of years now. We frequently choose to point the blame finger at the authors of these articles to gain the feeling that society itself hasn't caused these problems. However, the reality is a little harder to face than just releasing names and court dates. I was actually fortunate enough to witness the writing of the creative guide that dropped this community on it's ignorant head and while the author would no longer like to support it I feel like someone should. This facebook post did more than just outrage the global community, it brought a clever and somewhat comical insight to a sickening problem that the whole city had considered a joke for almost a decade. The process of seducing Castlegar teens has literally become so frequent and simple, it almost became a book. Is that a place you can feel proud to live in? And what is our solution? Blame the writer. Blame the kids. Maybe it's time to turn the blame finger around and ask what each of us did or didn't do to prevent this from reaching critical mass. The real solution? In my opinion, it's a lengthy, expensive, and nearly impossible road to turning this hideous situation around. Short of unplugging the internet, halting the flow of illegal drugs, and locking up your children, it may never happen.

Somewhat comical?

by Be-The-Change on 27 May 2011 at about 00:33.
Blithe satire or not (I have a degree in English literature, and have read, analyzed, and written more parodies and satire than you will ever even know the titles of), I must question what is comical (or facetious) about advising men (and teen boys) to use the fact that a 13 - 16 year-old girl might have cheated on them [so], "she will do anything that you want to forgive her, which opens all doors of sexual activity - anal is necessary before degrading her...." Chapter 8: Playing With Fire What is comical about that, medic_487? I have to assume that despite your eloquent, mature, and insightful indictment of society for its role in this disaster, that you are, what, 21, 22? I also might guess that your username reflects a career goal? If so, excellent choice - you will be saving lives. Let's hope it's not a 16-year-old who has overdosed on GHB or a 14-year-old who is hemorrhaging from anal rape or a 13-year-old who has attempted suicide because she has been used, abused, humiliated, and degraded. There is satire, and there is hate literature. I know what Deflowered in Seconds is. Until you get it, please consider a different career.

Reality

by medic_487 on 27 May 2011 at about 10:24.
This is essentially another chapter in the ongoing debate for the boundaries of freedom of speech. This debate rarely has winners or losers, it simply offers us learning oppertunities. As it stands, the combination of information technology, social networking, and controversial opinions has resulted in every member of domocracy being legally able to write, print and post their thoughts just about anywhere. The true chaos begins when the public decides to abuse, misinterpret, and exagerrate this information. Unfortunately, much of the information contained in the controversial document was based on incidents which occured prior to the writing of "Deflowered in Seconds". The fundemental intention of the document was to bring light to, and potentially humiliate the many young women in Castlegar who have willingly chosen to indulge in the "LG" lifestyle. This is not the mass rape of teenage girls that the papers have made it out to be. It's a widespread failure of the parents and the community to educate these individuals about the consequences of dating older men. The sadest reality of all is that of all the things a 20 year old Castlegar male could have been doing on a friday night, writing 6 pages of reckless opinions is likely the least damaging...

You lie

by Be-The-Change on 27 May 2011 at about 23:59.
Wait a minute. Do I read you correctly? You are blaming the GIRLS for this? You are actually saying that it's their fault that older men romance them, seduce them, deflower them, debase them, and dump them? And your noble friend(s), who never actually did anything like they outline in the book, are the true victims because their lesson to the girls and global community has been misconstrued by overzealous and melodramatic parents who need parenting lessons? Your friend is simply the victim of a satirical lesson gone sour? Have I got that right? You lie, sir. We both know that Mr. Notsosoft practiced and perfected his seduction methods on high school juniors before he wrote that manual. He did what he wrote. That's a fact. He has been reported to the police prior to this incident. That's a fact. He has used Facebook in the past to degrade and punish girls. That's a fact. This 22-year-old man still dates young girls. That's a fact. Want to tell everyone how old his current girlfriend is? How old was the one before her? And the one before that? He attends teen parties and is the 'big' man in the room. That's a fact. He still uses 'deflowered.com' as his web address. As of right now, that's a fact. What part of his behaviour is the girls' fault? He needs to man up, own up, grow up, take responsibility, take the consequences, and learn from it.

The more I read this story and info that's coming out...

by CK on 28 May 2011 at about 06:10.
...the more I think it's not just a case of adolescent fun or whatever some people want to call it when they are trying to defend this document. Of course I don't know the whole facts. BUT hear me out. THE WHOLE SITUATION SMACKS OF GROOMING, whether or not some people would like to call it that. If you want to learn more about it, then watch this video: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Oprah-Talks-to-Child-Molesters-Part-1-Video The show is actually in 3 parts which are all on the website so it'll take an hour or so to watch the whole thing but please do when you have a spare hour. It's compelling viewing. These men, who are now in treatment, tell exactly how it was a trust thing for them to get younger, vulnerable females to trust them (and those females weren't a whole lot younger than these men in some cases) and then they molested them. And yes, I believe it does tie in a lot with this situation in Castlegar as well. The men profiled on the Oprah show originally didn't believe they were doing wrong either, and they justified their actions when they were caught. I think Castlegar's police, social workers, church workers, school counsellors etc had better do something--soon. As someone commented a few days ago...it's not a matter of locking up your daughters and unplugging the Internet. That's just silly. This is a complex situation that will take time to unravel. We need the community to pull together on this, definitely. It sounds like some people have been trying to raise the alarm before but weren't listened to. I think those people in authority who were told about this and did nothing before now and didn't believe those people should be ashamed.

These two men

by Darbley on 26 May 2011 at about 21:21.
I keep hearing about these two men. I would like to know who they are. If they are not minors we have a right to know, that right legaly exists, if they are not a minor.

no blame, no fingers, understanding, and tough love.

by lavendar86 on 26 May 2011 at about 20:00.
@Kitty & Deb.... This has been going on far longer than I think anyone realises. It has been in the long run, I heard stories of this when I was in highschool, to witness my own sister go through this. Honestly, what are you supposed to do?! Especially when your elders don't listen to you. The youth have been crying out, loudly, you are too blind to see what is truly taking place in The Kootenays and/or you're casting it out like it's not there. There are many youth in this area struggling. With themselves, with their families. Noone seems to listen, and they resort to the party scene to get away from it all and feel a sense of freedom, a sense of community and compassion they cannot seem to find anywhere else. Of course, these concepts are dillusional, they are getting the exact opposite or what they truly believe they are receiving. @parents... show a little understanding, growing up is hard, you may not realise what your child is actually going through. Just letting them know that you love them is enough. Don't kick them into the streets because they have problems, well all have issues. You are only magnifying those issues, and in most cases, enhancing their bad behaviour. Be a friend. @officials... you should be posting names, these individuals should be brought out of hiding, to keep others safe, we deserve to know the culprits and who to keep a watchful eye upon. @Castlegar... like I said previously, this has been going on for at least 10yrs or more. It's almost as if this bad behaviour is acceptable. It's about time this is being brought into the limelight, shortly after the incident at the Selkirk campus, you might want to think about showing a little backbone for once. Clean up your act. Just an idea.

no blame

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 20:22.
Thanks for the response. Of course this kind of thing has been going on for a long time, just doesn't make it alright. We have the capacity as a community to reach out and help some of these young girls and boys. Not talking about it is not the answer. The fact that we are all a twitter about it now shows that there is a willingness to get involved. So I agree with you on many points but I still don't agree with people knowing about this stuff and not letting people know. Who knows maybe the answer is right in front of us. I can dream, right? Thanks again lavendar

What I was trying to say

by lavendar86 on 26 May 2011 at about 20:56.
This is and has been discussed, I am telling you that people in control/officials are not doing their part. They don't seem to listen, often ridiculing the youth rather than looking into what they are saying. Which only makes things worse. We do have the capacity to reach out and help one another, that's not the issue. When are we going to see this movement? This understanding? The answer really is simple. And we the people, finally voicing out helps. To dream is to believe! Thank YOU!

lol

by wanker on 26 May 2011 at about 20:07.
Almost everyone knows who did this, we all just ignored it, because it was done just for a joke, with a lengthly disclaimer. Maybe not the brightest joke. Lets just ask this, who has been "deflowered" on alcohol or ev en had intercourse on alcohol, think about it.

that's an ignorant statement

by lavendar86 on 26 May 2011 at about 20:59.
Actually, no, not everyone knows who did this. Care to enlighten? It's one thing to drink, but to spike another's drink with intent of wrong doing is unjustifiable. Why are YOU making a joke of this?

Joke

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 20:24.
Sorry not laughing. I hope you do not ever face this type of joke when your a parent. I choose not to ignore it.

clarification please!

by kittykat on 26 May 2011 at about 16:13.
***" I’ve known about this for more than a year, and so have many others." If this is true why hasn't he done something before now? And if so, what did he do to bring to to light?

Kitty Kat

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 19:33.
So you have known about this crap for a year and have done nothing. Why not Ktty Kat. The day we found out we acted on it (City Council).

reply to Deb McIntosh

by kittykat on 26 May 2011 at about 20:34.
I posted that quote from the article Deb. My question was to the person who stated that in the article, last paragraph!!!!

post

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 20:35.
thanks Kitty Kat :0) Sorry for the mistake

No Problem Deb! However, the

by kittykat on 26 May 2011 at about 20:38.
No Problem Deb! However, the question still remains....why didn't the person in that article speak up....why did he wait and what happened to change his mind so that that he suddenly spoke up?

kitty kat

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 20:43.
Good question and I will be asking the same dam question. Thanks Kitty Kat.

FB wake up call

by Deb McIntosh on 26 May 2011 at about 17:52.
what did you do to bring to light if you have known about this for a year?

From the editor: Not so simple

by Kyra Hoggan on 26 May 2011 at about 16:19.

When these girls are telling their youth pastors, but are too afraid, ashamed and humiliated to tell police or their parents, what could he have done?

The moment he got solid evidence of what he'd been hearing about (namely, the how-to manual posted on Facebook), he brought copies to the local RCMP and to the principal at Stanley Humphries Secondary School.

I think part of the problem is that people want to do something, but have no idea what to do. Check out next week's Source, where we'll be offering information on what we can do - as individuals, parents, and together as a community.

Regards,

Kyra Hoggan

Editor

hard evidence

by kittykat on 26 May 2011 at about 21:35.
If the goal is to keep the girls and boys too safe then this pastor should have gone to the police with this information immediately. It isn't the job or responsibility of the pastor to find "hard evidence" that's what the police are for.

bold clains

by wanker on 26 May 2011 at about 14:13.
most of this is bullshit and exaggerated, but yes some is true.

beginning to wonder

by lavendar86 on 26 May 2011 at about 21:01.
if you willingly partook in these events, at one time or another. You seem incredibly cynical, perhaps a tad defensive.

Hey Wanker

by MaryP on 26 May 2011 at about 14:52.
I am amused by your name and I trust that you know what a wanker is, happy wanking.

?

by wanker on 26 May 2011 at about 20:02.
i don't you know what a wanker is, but i love wankin all night long.

From the editor: I invited the authors to share their side

by Kyra Hoggan on 26 May 2011 at about 14:21.

Perhaps we'll get a different perspective, if they are prepared to stand by what they wrote and published (although I said I was willing to withhold their names).

Nothing I have said about the manual is exaggerated. In fact, there were many, many offensive elements I omitted.

This is a much gentled-down version of what they wrote - anyone who claims otherwise has not read the document.

As for appalling nonsense like "road head", that's confirmed by not just one; not just two; but several sources.

Regards,

Kyra Hoggan

Editor

Alot of the blame needs to be

by Carol on 26 May 2011 at about 11:47.
Alot of the blame needs to be put on us as adults for both those being victimized and those who preyed on them. There is just to much out there that is pushed on our children and we just sit back either because we are to busy and don't realize what we are letting our children do and see or are so concerned about our sexual freedom that we have destroyed the spirit of our children. I don't know how many emails I have recieved from different groups that are always exposing something that the media is pushing on our children. It is just sickening but continues.

oh Castlegar, what have you become???

by CK on 26 May 2011 at about 10:45.
This is really sad on so many levels. I am proud to call Castlegar my hometown...but with stories like this one surfacing, I'm really ashamed that my hometown is making the news for all the wrong reasons. Even the CBC and Global news is covering the Facebook story and people are passing it on via Facebook and Twitter. I know that it's naive to think that small towns like Castlegar are insulated from all this stuff and it should be some sort of hometown utopia (sort of like Lake Wobegon) but to be honest....I really expected better from the town and region I grew up in. I think Castlegar really needs to start to do some soul-searching.